What the
by AwesomeSwiss
Summary: Strange things are happening and Belarus keeps seeing them. I wonder why? Insanity is abundant in this story. Extremely cracky. Contains Belarus, stalker-ish behaviour and Russia in a cat suit. Rated T to satisfy my paranoia
1. Chapter 1

Cats and fish

**(A/N)**; my first fic so everyone might be slightly OOC. Will switch between human names and country names.

Oh, I don't own hetalia

Natalya walked down the corridor, her brothers house looking bigger than she remembered. Countless portraits of historical figures seemingly glaring down at her as she walked past. So she glared back.

She'd been having a good day so far, she went to Chinatown for breakfast and since she brought her knives, China had let her eat for free. Then, at the world meeting, Italy made too much pasta and gave it to everyone, so most of the usual idiots were too busy eating to argue. Then she'd sent a scary movie, and a hidden camera, to America's place, ready to transmit his hilarious reaction.

Now she'd crept into Ivan's house, looking for his pants. She was betting they'd be in his bedroom. She climbed the stairs, the wooden floor boards creaking slightly as she moved. She came to a corridor, with doors stretching down either side. She knew from her time living at Russia's house that his bedroom was at the end.

She walked down the corridor, pausing as she passed certain doors, a lot of stuff had happened here...

She finally came to Ivan's bedroom door. She opened it with ease. She looked around the room and noticed the change, he'd redecorated since she'd last been there. The walls had been a dark red during Russia's communist period about 20 years ago, but he'd finally changed the colour, it was now a lighter, frosted white.

His bed was also new, it looked as though it had just been taken out of the box. The carpet was more of a silvery colour, and on the Walls Ivan had hung various pictures, views of the Russian landscape, of sunflower fields and some of Russia himself.

The first was a picture of Russia, passed out with a bottle of vodka in each hand. The second was a picture of everyone in the Soviet Union together. The third was a picture of Russia with his arms around an uncomfortable and scared looking china.

That made Belarus felt just a little jealous. She resisted the urge to drive a knife through the frame.

The fourth made her pause. It was a picture of her and Ivan and Katyusha all as children. Ivan had an arm around them both and they were all... laughing. She tried to remember when this photo was taken, but she couldn't. She also tried to remember the last time the three of them had, had fun together.

She'd have to get a copy of that photo, now, where had she been before she'd started daydreaming?...

_Ah, right._ She went over to the chest of draws, and started rifling through the contents until she found what she was looking for.

There they were. Russia's pants, in all the colours of the rainbow. (Excluding pink.) She opened the carrier bag she'd brought with her. First, she took one of each colour, then she looked at the ones with patterns on, finally choosing one with wolves running. Then she picked some at random until her bag was almost full.

She paused again, right there were a pair of boxers with sunflowers on. She had given those to Ivan a year ago...

She'd better take those too.

Then she saw something that made her heart stop and her blood boil. The object in question was another pair of pants, but these were made for a woman, so unless her brother had become a cross dresser in the past week...

She snatched them up looking for something to tell her who they belonged to. And there on the inside there was a name tag!

It read _Natalya Arlovskaya_. She blinked, they were hers?

Then she remembered, in her moment of fury, she had forgotten that last week, she had sent these as a present for her big brother. She put them on his pillow and satisfied that she had enough of Ivan's pants to last the week, she left his room.

She walked back down the corridor and the flight of stairs and was about to leave when she heard music starting up from one of the nearby rooms. Curiously, she walked forward to investigate.

In front of her stood two people in a spartan room with a chair and some empty bookshelves. The people in front of her were Ivan and... _wait, is that the Netherlands?_ Both were dressed as cats and held wet fish. Both were barely a stride from each other. Belarus had just enough time to think _What the hell..._

The Netherlands started moving forward. He moved in time with the music, in something that might have been an Irish jig, then when he got close enough to Russia he slapped him with the fish and moved back to his original spot.

Then Ivan proceeded to do the same to The Netherlands, this process going on for sometime. Natalya just stared in amazement, at some point she must have got her phone out, as she was recording them with it when she snapped out of her daze.

Taking one last look at the spectacle in front of her, she turned round with her bag full of Ivan's pants and headed out of her big brothers house.

**A/N: **Let me know if you want me to continue this. And please feel free to correct any mistakes I've made.


	2. Chapter 2

Phone calls, surprises and no spoon

If I owned Hetalia there would be more canon pairings

Belarus stopped off at the super market on her way home and quite literally ran into Austria. He got up, dusted himself off and moved off at a fast pace. She put some food into her shopping basket, and went home. What? The cashier was too scared to ask her to pay.

Belarus got home and opened her front door and collapsed on her sofa. Stalking someone takes a lot of energy. She decided to silent call Feliks before dinner. She dialled his number and waited... and waited... and waited...

_What?_ Feliks never let the phone ring out, he answered everything, and she meant everything... She decided to Prank call Toris instead. She got out her knives and started sharpening them while she waited for Toris to pick up.

Someone picked up the phone. "Hello?" Asked Natalya. "What do you want?" Came the grumpy reply. _Wait a second... _"Feliks!? What are you doing at Toris's place? And why did you answer?" Natalya was a little shocked it was about 10 pm and Poland's house was half an hour from Lithuania's.

"Well, I came over to watch a totally fabulous movie then, we... Uh... fell asleep?" He meant it to be confident but it came out as a question. "So... What did you call for?"

Natalya blinked, Poland was definitely avoiding something with such a fast change of subject. But she'd never had the opportunity to prank call both of them...

She started sharpening her knives again, "Oh, I just wanted to invite Lithuania to lunch, my treat. You can come to if you like." "Really?" Poland seemed surprised, and rightly so, Belarus was not known for being sociable. "Oh yes, the more the merrier..." She said in her creepiest tone of voice, the one she used for scaring door to door salesman and convincing Russia to marry her.

"Um... I'll check if we're available." Natalya paused. _We? Hmmm. _"No rush." She said. "What kind of food anyway?" Poland asked. Natalya smiled. "Oh, you know; kidney or liver. Heart. Lung. Spleen. Or a nice juicy brain. Mmmmm."

"Right, we're definitely not available." _There's that 'we' again._ Feliks voice came out in a high pitched squeal. . "I didn't say when..." She replied casually. Feliks was panicking now. "Well, we're not available! EVER!" Then he started babbling. "Not for the next year or so, the schedules packed, try asking us in September and... Why are you laughing?"

Belarus was shaking from uncontrollable laughter by now. "Wait... is this one of your stupid jokes?" Feliks asked. Belarus just about managed a "yes" through her bellowing guffaws.

"That is totally mean!" And with that he hung up. She didn't care, she was still laughing. After she had finished rolling on the floor, she got up and started making dinner, sometimes she liked to eat something different, so she was attempting one of England's recipes, but she was going to try and make it edible.

It was roast beef with a lot of gravy and she needed to find a _spoon_ to pour the gravy over it. She was looking through her cutlery draw, trying to find it, while she was doing this however, the food burned, and then the smoke alarm went off.

In her frustration she screamed out "THERE IS NO SPOON!" At the top of her lungs. She eventually cleaned up everything and decided to order pizza. She phoned them and 10 minutes later her doorbell rang. She took the pizza and was about to close the door when he coughed. "What about the money?"

_He must be new._ "Ah, right." She said, and held out her hand. "N-no, that's not what I..." He trailed off as the look she was giving him said '_Unless you want me to castrate you, shut up and do what I say.' _Her face is very expressive.

He feebly put a note and a couple of coins into her outstretched hand. "What? No tip?" She asked. He tentatively put some extra coins in her hand before running off.

She closed the door and opened the pizza box. Pepperoni, mushrooms, pepper, anchovies, sweet corn and a crust stuffed with Quorn and traces of pineapple. Her favourite pizza recipe, discovered through trial and error.

As she ate, she thought about the odd day she'd been having. The relative silence at the world meeting, (usually America ate and talked at the same time), the call to Poland and Lithuania and lastly the... event with Ivan and Lars.

She considered putting the video on her fansite but she decided against it. Although she did look at it a few times before bed.

As she climbed into bed she decided to write a to-do list for tomorrow. With that done she stared at her posters of Russia until she fell into a deep sleep.

A/N: Let me know what you think should happen next.


	3. Chapter 3

Not Kugelmugels day

Natalya woke slowly, gathering energy for the day ahead of her. As she started making breakfast there was a knock at the door, she opened it and there was a large parcel sitting on her doorstep. There was a note on top, it read: _Dear Belarus, thanks for the stuff on America, it will really come in handy, in return I give to you some embarrassing stuff on Yao and some disposable cameras. ~Hong kong_

Belarus moved the parcel inside, closed the door and immediately began shifting through its contents, each item more embarrassing than the last, each making her laugh loudly, she imagined that Leon had probably done the same with her box of America's stuff... _Well maybe he hadn't laughed, but a smile? Maybe?_

I should explain, Belarus and Hong Kong had a... business arrangement, if one of them needed to blackmail someone, they would get what they needed from the other, for a price. In this case, Belarus needed something on China so she payed for it with some embarrassing stuff on America. But she still had plenty on him.

And as for the disposable cameras they were in case she found any other embarrassing stuff and then she could have evidence of it. After picking only the best blackmail material, Natalya made breakfast. Luckily it was a simple recipe she learnt from America. Marshmallows on toast. Normally she wouldn't eat that rubbish but she was in to much of a hurry to prepare anything good.

She got her coat, put the camera in the pocket and headed off. The first thing she had to do was go to her big sisters house. She was going to return an old photo album, that she had borrowed for her fansite. When she got there she noticed the door was unlocked. This annoyed her, her big sister should know better! "Big Sis! Are you home?"

There was no reply. Natalya was a little worried now, her sister was usually responsible enough to close the door, and while she didn't want Ukraine getting closer to Russia than her she still didn't want her to get hurt. She walked into the living room, the carpet crunching softly as she walked on it. "Katyusha!" She called, but there was still no reply.

She went up the stairs, when she heard something from one of the bedrooms. There it was again a low moan. She put her ear to the door. She could hear them in succession, a series of low moans of... _Pleasure?_ "That's goooooood!" Came a shout from the room. With a start she realised it was Katyusha!

Then another voice came from the bedroom. "See, I told you deeper is better." This voice seemed younger and somewhat familiar. "Kugel can you speed it up a little?" Belarus froze... _Kugelmugel?!_

She burst in and was shocked by the sight in front of. Her Katyusha was lying on her front on the red duvet, half naked, while Kugelmugel was lying on top of her (also half naked), his braids hanging over the top of Ukraine's head, his hands over her shoulders, and his legs wrapped around her waist.

They both froze instantly. "N-Natasha? W-what are you d-doing h-h-here?" Ukraine said, trembling. "I could ask you the same question." Belarus replied. "I was just giving Kat a massage. Massaging is art, you know." Kugelmugel said shaking slightly. "Really?" Belarus asked sceptically.

"Sis that's all he was doing, I swear!" Her sister looked like she was about to burst into tears, so Belarus relented. "Fine, I believe you." She said. "Good, because it's true." Katyusha said, no longer looking like she was about to have a breakdown.

Belarus reached into her pocket. "Smile!" And with that she started taking pictures of them from a number of different angles. "No!" Ukraine and Kugelmugel cried, Ukraine tried to cover herself up, while Kugelmugel tried to jump off Ukraine's back, forgetting his legs were wrapped around her waist, only resulting in some very interesting photos.

"Don't worry." Natalya said, grinning. "It's just art." With that she left the house, shutting the front door behind her. On her way to England's she went into a photo shop to have her pictures developed, the cashier looked at her disgustedly, but soon stopped when she gave him her trade mark_ 'shut up or I will do things that will make you die of fright_' glare.

She was going to England's house because lately she'd gotten into rock music, and he had the best in her opinion. He opened the door. "... Hi Belarus." He said after a moment. She pushed past him into his study, where he kept his music, ignoring the countless books, she stood there studying the CDs for a few minutes, finally picking up a cover with a skeletal snake on it. "This any good?" She asked.

"Yeah it's great but-" Belarus didn't let him finish she was already out of the door. You might be wondering why she was in such a rush, well the simple answer is: ghosts. Belarus can see ghosts, and the ones that hung around England's house were either; mad, rude, disturbing or a mix of all 3. Not all English ghosts were like that, but for some reason Arthur's house was full of the worst in his country.

Next, she had to go and blackmail China. The screen door slid open when she knocked, and she got the strangest feeling of déjà vu, only this time she hoped not to find her naked sister with Kugelmugel. "Yao?" She called. _Déjà vu again._ She looked around at all the traditional Chinese paintings. She went up the wooden stairs and heard something.

The rhythmic squeak of bed springs...

A/N: yes I'm stopping here, for a few reasons, 1 a number of people have read this but not reviewed and so I've been forced to tie up Italy, if you don't review... He will go to Russia's basement, or maybe Frances bedroom. So review.

The Other reason is I want people to continue reading so I'm leaving it on a cliffhanger.


	4. Chapter 4

Do I own Hetalia? No. I do not.

**A/N**: sorry for taking so long, but the king of writers block decided to pay me a visit.

...Belarus had no idea what was behind the door. More specifically she had no idea who was behind it. She decided to just get it over with. She kicked the door down. On the bed, there was Yao who was trying to pull the clothes off some one who was bucking and thrashing underneath him, making the bed groan. _Wait... Is that... Hutt river?!_ She briefly wondered why they were there. They didn't even notice her. _What is with everyone at the moment?_ She wondered. "Get off me Yao!" Shouted Hutt river. Yao ignored him.

She cleared her throat. Nothing. She waved at them. Still nothing. She started taking pictures with the flash on. Absolutely no response from them. Yao reached into Hutt's trousers and grabbed something firmly. "Got it!-aru!" Yao cried. He pulled out a small fluffy panda doll. _Seriously?!_ Natalya thought. She decided to say something. "If you two are done with whatever kinky thing you've got going on here, I need to speak to Yao."

Both their heads snapped round so fast Natalya was pretty sure they'd come off. "W-when did you get here-aru?" Yao asked, his voice breaking ever so slightly. "A while ago." She said. "Yao. Get off me, before I break every bone in your old body." Hutt river said, menacingly quiet. Yao climbed off of him. "I'm not old-aru." He muttered.

Belarus had had enough. She was already late for her lunch with Leon and she was starting to get angry. You do NOT want to see her angry. "Yao. Since I'm in a rush, here." And she threw an envelope at him. He managed to catch it without it hitting the floor. "Inside are some instructions for you. If you don't follow them, then pictures of... Whatever just happened, will be shown to everyone at the next world meeting." And since she was in a hurry she ran down the stairs and out the front door without waiting for a response.

The restaurant where she was meeting Leon was somewhere downtown. All she knew was that it was a sushi place. When she got downtown, seeing as there was only one sushi place, she decided to go in there. Sure enough, Leon was in reception waiting for her. His face betrayed not even a hint of emotion, it was as still and stony as an old mountain.

"You're late." He said. Still no emotion. "I was getting some new stuff on Yao." He looked at her bored. "I thought I gave you what you needed." He said, feigning boredom. "Yes. But you've never caught him in bed." His eyes widened, his emotionless facade slipping before he regained his composure. "Photos?" She nodded. "I'll send them to you. Seriously, can we sit down? I'm starving."

They walked to their table and sat down. It was then Natalya finally had a look round at the restaurant. It was a mix of old and new, the building itself was old but everyone and everything inside it was younger, newer. The waitress' were all dressed as traditional geishas, She didn't have much time to look round as their food arrived. _Wait a second... _"Did you order for me?" She said accusingly at the personification of Hong Kong.

"You take hours to decide on your own. So I had our meals prepared before you got here." She glared at him. "Next time, don't be so presumptuous or my knife might find its way to your throat." Leon nodded, his cold mask back on. They started eating. _It's not too bad._ She thought. _But I won't tell him that._ "By the way, why did you need that stuff on America?" She asked. "I'm planning something and I need to make sure he cooperates." He said, not giving anything away. "So how are things going with Russia?" He asked. She shrugged. "Same as usual. Why can't he realise that we are destined to be together?" She sighed. Leon looked thoughtful. "Have you tried... No, never mind." Natalya sat up. "What?" She demanded. Hong Kong spoke slowly and carefully. "Have you thought of trying to make him jealous?"

This caught her attention, she'd tried so many things to persuade Ivan (blackmail, threats, seduction, to name but a few) but she had never even considered jealousy. "How?" She finally said. "Well, you always stalk Russia so he'll be used to that. But if you stalked someone else he might think things like 'why isn't little sister stalking me anymore?' And so, he will want you. If you do it for long enough, he will be the one who asks to marry you." Belarus was getting excited now, ignoring the stalker comment.

"The only problem is," she said "whoever I go after could fall in love with me." Leon snorted. "I don't think that will be an issue." "And why not." Belarus said, with a voice like ice and a look that said 'choose your words carefully if you want to keep breathing.' Leon squirmed. "Well... It won't be an issue if we choose who you'll... go after." Natalya seemed satisfied.

It took them a few hours but they finally made a list of nations who would be 'suitable' for Natalya's 'purposes':

Scotland (unlikely to return her affections)

New Zealand (She knew she would have to find out New Zealand's gender first...)

Greece (Fun to mess with)

Poland (It would be funny to see his reaction)

Sweden (She sort of had a thing for tall guys...)

Lithuania (Same as with Poland)

She was unsure of the last one, but after the phone call incident, she was pretty sure it would be fine. After lunch she made her plans, it took most of the day, but, in the end she came up with a foolproof plan. She also made a secondary list:

Liechtenstein (Swiss would have a heart attack)

Belgium (She made good chocolate)

Canada (Yes she remembers him)

Prussia (He was a narcissist but he was funny)

Ukraine (She'd been stalking her older brother for years, why not her older sister?)

China (He'd been getting to close to Ivan)

It never hurts to be prepared. All she had to do was pick who to go after...

**A/N**: Interesting. Seriously though, she's delusional if she thinks-

Belarus: If I think what? *Glares at author*

Author: *trembling* N-nothing, Natalya.

Belarus: That's what I thought. Now, get back to work. And to whoever is reading this, review and say who you think I should go after, or my knife may accidentally go through your head.


	5. Chapter 5

**Spring wedding?**

_I still own nothing._

**A/N**: Sorry this is taking so long, but I had to choose which plot bunny to use. In the end, I decided to use several at once, so don't be surprised if things get cracky-er or if there's more OOC-ness. Also, in most fics I've read Sweden talks like this. It may be completely incorrect and if it is please correct me. Also:

_Arrietty_: Even you won't be able to predict what happens next.

**Littlemisspunkrocker**: thanks for the suggestion, it will come up at some point

Belarus had decided on Sweden as her first 'target'. She was waiting for him to leave his house. It was very early morning and but he wasn't due to leave the house for work for a few hours. But suddenly the door opened and he stepped out, light blond hair and greenish-blue eyes, a long blue overcoat, matching hat, a black shirt and black trousers, a stern expression on his face and a Nordic Cross necklace just poking out from his shirt.

He turned around to lock the door hurriedly and she crept out from the bush she'd been hiding in. When he turned back his eyebrows went up in surprise. "H'llo Natalya." He said. "Hi Berwald!" She replied happily. This made alarm bells go off in Berwald's head. His suspicions grew even further when he saw her hands were behind her back. When she took them out they held a bouquet of twin flowers. This just confused him. "Who ar' th'y f'r?" He asked. She smiled again. "For you." This nearly gave the Swede a heart attack. "Now Berwald…" she trailed off. Sweden looked at her expectantly. "Will you marry me?" Again, nearly a heart attack. He spoke slowly "Natalya…you know I've g't a wife already."

_How the hell did I forget about him and Finland?! _She thought to herself. "Oh…can we still be friends?" She asked. "…" the tall man didn't say anything but gave a slight nod. She walked away, crossing Sweden off her list. She didn't see that he was in even more of a rush than she was. After stopping in a cafe she consulted a map. She had a choice between going to Prussia or Poland next…

Before she knew it she was in Warsaw. It wasn't a long journey to Feliks's place, though she did stop to restock on flowers. When she got there she rang the doorbell, it played an unfamiliar theme tune, probably from a very girly show. When the door was answered it wasn't Feliks but Toris. He blushed and she thought: _Perfect, two birds, one stone._ "Hi Natalya, what are you doing here, it's only seven." He paused. "Do you want to come inside? It's pretty cold out." She nodded. They stepped inside the living room which was painted an _obscene_ shade of pink. "Liet?" Came a questioning voice.

Feliks stepped into the room in yet more pink. His pyjamas weren't as bright as the walls at least. "Oh, hey Nat. What are you doing here, I was, like totally, sleeping." "I have something I want to talk to you two about." She said. "Just let me get some, like, coffee first." Toris followed him into the-what she presumed to be-kitchen. She took the opportunity to take out the flowers, luckily she'd planned ahead and so she had 12 poppies (Feliks) and 12 Rue (Toris). She started to arrange them neatly on the table.

She heard someone clear their throat. She looked up and there stood Feliks and Toris both looking worried. Lithuania decided to ask about the elephant in the room. "Who are those for?" She was a little confused. "For you two of course. Who else would I be giving them to?" They looked at each other, sharing a silent thought; _since when does Belarus give out flowers?_ "Like, why?" Feliks asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked. They shook their heads in unison. "Well…you know how big brother doesn't love me in the same way I love him?" They nodded, again in unison. _Time for the lie._ She looked down at her feet. "So…I thought about it and… I've decided to move on." This shocked them, whatever they expected to here was not that. After all, Belarus had been in love with Russia since…longer than any of them could remember.

Feliks went back to being confused. "Like, I still don't get why you're here." She looked up again. "Like I said I'm moving on…to you two." They stood there for a second, then they both started laughing. Loudly. _Time for some acting._ She thought. She started thinking of all the things that made her sad (all four!) and before she knew it tears were running down her face. This killed any hint of happiness in the room.

"Nat?" Toris asked tentatively, neither nation had ever seen Natalya…upset before. _Wow, I could be an actress._ "It's just that…nobody…ever…" she started fake sobbing. It was _unbelievably_ convincing. Toris and Feliks sat next to her. Toris put his arm around her while Feliks tried to calm her down. When she had 'calmed down' enough to talk she looked Toris in the eye. "Why don't you two like me?" She asked in the saddest possible voice. _I deserve an award!_

This startled them. "We totally do Nat." Feliks said kindly. She sniffed. "Really?" Toris squeezed her hand. "Really." _Either I'm the worlds best actress or these two are the most gullible bastards in the world…or maybe it's a little of both._ "So…will you two marry me?" Poland misunderstood her. "To who? And why are you asking us to do that?" Natalya shook her head. "No. I want you" she pointed to Feliks "and you" pointing to Toris "to marry me." Pointing at herself to make sure there was no confusion.

They looked at her, then each other then back to her again. "So when you say moving on…" Feliks began. "I mean…_stalking_…other people. Like you two!" Their eyes widened as this sunk in. "Both of us?" Toris asked. "Yep." She smiled brightly at them. "So…spring wedding?" They were out of the room before she could even blink, she heard a door slam and the sound of something heavy being pushed along the floor.

She got up and went into the corridor to see that the bedroom door was locked. She knocked on it and heard a muffled "Go away!" from inside. She tried to push it open but there was something heavy against it. "Guys! Let me in!" "NO!" Came the reply from the other side. She walked until her back was against the wall at the other end of the corridor, then she sprinted forward and threw herself at the door, putting all her weight into it to try and force it open.

Just a few, short minutes later her arm stopped aching. The door wouldn't budge. So she decided to try somewhere else. She consulted her map and her list again, and decided Prussia would be the best option. The only trouble would be finding him. She knew he lived with Ludwig but she also knew he went out a lot so she could have a long wait by the time she got there.

Of course she would have to find Ludwig's house first. It's not that she was bad with directions, it's just she'd never been to his house before, so she wasn't entirely sure of where to go to. By the time she'd got there it was almost 12. Ludwig answered. He said "Gilbert went out last night with Elizaveta and he hasn't come back yet. She asked if she could wait for him. "Fine. But you might be in for a long wait."

**A/N**: hmmm… What will happen next? In case you were wondering, twin flowers are the national flower of Sweden. Poppies are the national flower of Poland and the Rue is the national flower of Lithuania.


	6. Chapter 6

Wait…what?

Again, the only thing I own is…nope can't think of anything

**A/N**: The plot bunnies are nearly revealed! At lest partly…

_Arrietty_: Wow. I made you fangirl. I hope this chapter does the same.

Natalya ended up falling asleep in Gilbert's room. When she woke up it was 3 in the afternoon and Gilbert still wasn't back yet. Although his pet bird, _Gilbird?_, was. She played with the bird for a while. _It's so cuuuuute!_ She thought. _But not as cute as big brother._ Then she heard the door open and slam loudly. Then there was some muffled talking.

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Then the door opened with a loud "I'm awesome!" And in strode Gilbert, as loud and obnoxious as ever. Still cute though. "So what do you want to talk to the awesome me about?" She knew Prussia would refuse marriage, he was infamous for running away from the alter, so she'd decided to tone down her stalker-ness slightly. "Are you single?" He blinked. "Yes…why are you asking?" "I want you to be my boyfriend."

He blinked again, and she waited for the typical running from the room. This did not happen. What did happen? She was immediately glomped. Yes, by Prussia. She was about to tell him to get off of her when he kissed her. It was a shock as he pressed his lips to hers. She was frozen in place until he slid his tongue into her mouth, eliciting a moan of pleasure from her. Her arms instinctively went up around his neck, then she started kissing back, both of them fighting for dominance. When they finally broke the kiss, Prussia was grinning from ear to ear. "I knew you'd see my awesomeness eventually!"

"Eventually? Wait… how long have you had a crush on me?" He blushed slightly. "I wouldn't call it a crush but… since the 1700's. You were so strong! Fighting against Sweden and Russia at the same time…" She nodded. She remembered the north war well, though it wasn't a happy time for her. "So…where should we go?" He asked. "What do you mean?" She replied, confused. "For our date! After all, I'm your boyfriend now, right? I want to take you somewhere." She considered this. "Not now. I'll text you when I think of something ok?" He looked disappointed for a second but this was overtaken by the sheer joy that they were together. He nodded.

She kissed him goodbye and left the house, dazed and more than a little confused. She thought it would be a good idea to phone Leon and fill him in. "Leon?" She asked. "Yes, it's me Nat. So, how's our plan going?" She told him about the first two attempts and she could hear he was struggling not to laugh. When she came to Prussia however, there was silence on the other side. After what seemed like an eternity he spoke up. "So…you're dating that pompous narcissist?" He asked, his voice now full of thinly veiled contempt.

"Yeah… I mean, it's different to the original plan, but, as long as it makes Ivan jealous right?" There was silence again. "I suppose so." His voice sounded unbelievably strained. "I've got to go Nat, important business you know? Bye." She put the phone down. _Since when does Leon show emotion?_ By the time she'd got home, Prussia had already let the rest of the world know they were dating. He'd posted several things already.

He'd asked people if they thought that him and her were a cute couple. There were a lot of comments underneath. Most went along the lines of "No fucking way" or "Belarus should not be with you. Ever." Or "You bastard" I'm not even going to consider repeating what Liechtenstein wrote. _Seriously, where did she learn to curse like that?_ She thought. _Has Romano been giving her lessons?_ The replies were more than a little confusing. Why do they care so much? She thought.

And she was right to be confused. Most of Europe had already said that they would be terrible together. And one question was rattling around her mind. _Why?_

**Meanwhile-**

Leon slammed his fist onto the desk in a fit of rage. _How have I never realised this before?!_ He'd been blinded by his own emotions. He'd never realised there was this much competition before. As he stared dismally at the computer screen, one question rattled around his head. _How can so many of us be in love with her?_

**A/N: **Wait…what just happened? Next chapter will be up soon! sorry this ones so short. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!


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